Ok, ok...I held out as long as I physically could. It has been a good 6 month run without any opioid pain management, but I initially had to throw in the towel last Thursday in an attempt to alleviate some of the immense pain that i am having. It started with a liter of fluids through an IV with a couple of doses of dilaudid. That was nice. My ultimate problem is that I have had a lot of radiation to my head and neck. That radiation is not nice to my muscles, and I tend to have intense, debilitating muscle cramps underneath my jaw, across my face, and across my neck in general. Thus far I have been getting by with ibuprofen and the like, but the pain today crossed a line. And just like that, I am back on that dangerous slope of pain control or complete zombie apocalypse. To me if feels like pain control, but unfortunately to those around me during these times, they would liken me to the walking dead. Unapproachable, ill-tempered and a general stink that can only be associated with a person who averages about 1 shower a week. Look, people...I am not proud of that, but it is what it is. I strive for better, but sometimes taking that 4th nap by noon really just couldn't be avoided.
I had infusion #3 today, and it was much less eventful than the second one. No passing out, no hospital stay. All very good things on top of the latest news that I will be switching over in the groups for the clinical trial. We all know I was going to get this one drug, but now that we have proof that it is not really doing anything right now, my research nurse got them to concede and to allow me to start in the two drug trial beginning tomorrow. So I will head in to Austin late tomorrow morning and get all my instructions and drugs and we will see how this works. To be fair, the Keytruda could be working, but things are beginning to spin a bit more out of control than I think we would like, so hopefully we can reign this thing back in. Disclaimer, I am exhausted. I probably shouldn't be writing this, but I felt like this is the kind of news that people want to hear. Super happy to have my brother here with me today at infusion. I feel like my brother has been living a lie out there in SF, what with his wife and kids and job and normal life...when he is apparently just another master poet. Hopefully he doesn't mind, so here it is!!
A young man took some Keytruda.
Maybe he mixed in into fooda.
His beard stayed strong and it kept him buzzing along
And with glee it killed that f'n intruda!
-D.K. Stobb
