Here we go again!

It has been a little while since I wrote anything and much has happened in that relatively short amount of time.  I thought I should get an entry in the books as we have a plan in place moving forward towards a sea of uncertainty.
The first major decision to come out of this latest recurrence is that I will no longer continue my futile attempts at working full time (actually working at all).  That opens a huge door to the uncertain times ahead, but I felt like this time I needed to take that step.  This will give me the opportunity to spend more time at home with Bowen and A.J. as I continue to fight for more time in this world.  It should make for an interesting transition and I am not exactly sure how I am going to pull it off, but it feels like the right move for us right now.  There are a number of pieces that I need to fall in place in the coming months, so hopefully everything works out for the best.
Treatment-wise, I have started a chemotherapy cycle, this week will be infusion #3.  The first infusion was the big one and it was a couple of Thursdays ago.  It involved Erbitux, Docetaxel and Carboplatin...all drugs that I have had before.  This one hit me hard this time.  I spent the better part of a week in bed feeling like absolute crap.  I don't remember a time in my past chemo history where I reacted a badly as I did this time.  Luckily, after about a week, I began feeling slightly better and could stay out of bed for a good portion of the day.  Now I just get Erbitux every week and that doesn't knock me down like the big 3 did.  The Erbitux is an immunotherapy drug that stimulates my immune system to fight the tumor.  It's actually a monoclonal antibody derived from something found in mice, I believe.  The down side to this treatment is a rather nasty rash that covers my head, face, chest and back that is not pleasant.  It's somewhat itchy, somewhat painful and my skin seems to dry out rather severely along with the rash.  I am told that the severity of the rash usually indicates a positive result on the tumor, so hopefully this stuff is making my tumor shrink.  Overall, the goal is to limit growth of this tumor prior to surgery #5.
Surgery #5 is to happen on May 22nd.  This is another non-standard procedure that is somewhat of a hail-Mary attempt at getting this cancer out of my body.  There is nothing easy about it and there are lots of surgeons that will be involved.  It will not be a pleasant surgery and I try not to think about the details too much as it tends to up my level of apprehension about it substantially.  I will have another CT scan about a week before the surgery date and then talk one last time with everybody prior to the surgery.  I shall report on the 22nd and once again put my life in their capable hands.  I don't know the length of the hospital stay and we have no guarantees as to the outcome of this surgery, but all I am asking for is a chance...and a chance I have been given.  Strap in, I feel like it's going to be a bumpy ride but better times are ahead.