Out of the darkness...into the light?

Greetings from the other side!!  As I type this, I am finally in a state of mind where I can string together more than one conscious thought at a time and I think I can make enough sense now to start posting again.  I will warn you, however, that the flow of thoughts in this post might be somewhat disjointed with a decent amount of randomness thrown in as my mind is still not back to 100% and I am still taking a pretty decent amount of pain killers.
I can honestly say that the previous week was, without a doubt, the worst week of my life.  Starting with the surgery that didn't go as well as I had hoped through the never-ending physical pain and emotional anguish experienced while I was at the hospital to the excruciating 2 hour drive home to Katy from the medical center in rush hour, I feel like I need a break from it all.  I think I even told Jessica that, I just want to run away from everything.  My will to survive, however, keeps me here fighting through every new twist and turn in the road and hopefully there are many more roads to be traveled ahead of me because I feel as though I have a lot left in me.  I very much hope that is the case.  Funny thing how all these bumps in the road leave me with an appreciation of the small things.  Hearing my boys giggle in their rooms at night after going to bed, seeing their excitement in the morning when we tell them they can ride their bikes to school and jut being here when they get home from school and settle in to the normal weekday routine, it makes me happier right now to be a part of this everyday than I could have ever imagined.  This is probably too much information, but just the simple act of urination which was performed mindlessly a week ago has taken on a whole new level of difficulty that I have not previously experienced.  I think I made some breakthroughs last night, so I believe that the worst of it is behind me so I can start building from here.
My take on my stay in the hospital: it sucked and I did not sleep at all.  It was a level of sleep deprivation that I have never experienced...the first night it was because of the pain, the second night because I couldn't evacuate my bladder and the third mainly because the stupid bed never stops moving.  THAT was annoying.  Once I got through the first night, I though to myself that things could not get any worse so I could start trending upward, but little did I know that things could indeed get worse and very much did so.  It is hard to describe the feelings of being so exhausted and frustrated and afraid of something that I feel the need to stand and argue with the nurse over what she wants to do versus what I absolutely don't want to do but in the end, I acquiesce and go through with it just in hopes that I could get some sleep.  Anyway, I made it through what has been, to this point, the worst of it and am now relaxing at home trying to recover as best I can.  I hate the drains, but they are a necessary evil at this point and I just have to deal with them and hopefully they will come out Thursday.

A photo from a better time...

There are so many questions, thoughts and concerns that are swirling through my ever clearing mind, but all that can wait until I am physically able to face all of that.  Right now, it's a lot of exhaustion and laying in bed.  Jessica has been incredible through it all as she is the one who has to deal with stripping and emptying my drains, making sure I take my numerous medications and she stays on top of my wound care in a way I know I never would.  I will never be able to thank her enough or show her how much I appreciate what she is doing for me.  Many thanks also to everyone out there who has taken time to wish me well, or come by the hospital or the house, or sent a card or just simply sat down and prayed or sent good thoughts my way.  I thank you immensely, you all bring ever increasing glimmers of hope to a person who otherwise was losing it all with every passing day.